Heart Candy

February 1, 2010 at 12:17 am (Love)

To all my beloved and lustful followers, I wish you endless days and nights filled with sex, love and passion during this month dedicated to love. I would like to commemorate February with one of the greatest love poems and my personal favourite, “Bright Star” authored by John Keats.

Straight from my heart to you! *nudge nudge wink wink*…

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art–
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature’s patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors–
No–yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever–or else swoon to death.
 - Keats

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Precious Moments

January 28, 2010 at 10:37 pm (Me)

I personally think that there are some things that just shouldn’t be discounted for their ‘absolute value’ in life. Obviously a good story, taking into account my love for writing and the appreciation I have for  others abilities to hold me captivated to a page with letters on it. In my profession I work with many images and I know that a picture is worth a thousand words, but the ‘word’ itself leaves mystery and intrigue to the imagination…makes you create your own understanding of this reality. Now I know it is hard for you to imagine that I have completed almost an entire paragraph without one ‘fuck’ or ‘pussy’ or ‘fuck the pussy’ tripe in it, but I DO have another side to me…one not so raw and sexually graphic. *wink wink* Having said ‘said tripe’ there really isn’t anything like a good hard fuck at the end of a very stressful day to ease away the sludge that magnetizes itself to us as the seconds, minutes and hours unfold by way of time. You know the kind…where you both rip off each others clothes, while clawing and sucking on each other as the layers of garments fly and grab, squeeze, suck, nibble, gobble and bite the necessary parts of the body that create immediate stimulation: lips, nipples, ass, pussy, cock… My personal favourite stress release fuck is being taken from behind, no foreplay to lubricate the sensitive folds and tissues, entering with one good hard puncture and bang, bang, bang – thumping like rabbits…now look what happened…you think I could stay on track with this! Okay, back to ‘things of value in life’…

So, as I was saying, ‘unexpected beautiful moments’ are another one of those ‘things’ that make life all the more worth living. One of my personal favourites was during a comet shower one very early November morning…it was pitch black outside and I was taking a much needed break from my post secondary studies to marvel at these flying lights spearing the night sky. It was cloudy but at this particular moment there was a profound break in the heavens enabling me to gaze at a beautiful starry sky to the south. Through a time lapse lens about a dozen comets made their decent into our stratosphere burning their magnificence into my memory when all of a sudden I heard “whoosh whoosh” to my right…interrupted from the cosmic fireworks above I turned my gaze toward the sound waves.  I met the eyes of a beautiful Snowy Owl with outstretched wings gracefully gliding through the air surrounding it…inches from me…with endless ebony eyes it searched my soul *time stopped for about 3 seconds* and then veered south up towards the descending gifts from the almighty. WOW, what a vision, which reminds me of the time I accidently caught my boyfriend masturbating. Now that was pure poetry! He didn’t know I was watching. Now don’t go thinking that I can’t please ‘my man’ when I have one of ‘those things’; masturbating is perfectly and absolutely NORMAL for all of US who are partnered and single.  What was odd was he played with himself completely different than I did. I took very careful mental notes as this perfect little unexpected learning opportunity unfolded. What an erotic theatrical display he performed for me, fondling his own balls and gliding his hand up and down his fuck stick, squeezing, slowing and speeding up at certain spots up and down the shaft…blew his fucking mind the next time we had relations…he didn’t know what hit him…shit, there I go again…fuck me! (not literally, geesh!)

Alrighty, let’s try again….hmmm, ‘the in between’…you know that magnificent part of anything that is the absolute best part of ‘it’? Relationships are a perfect example…the awkward beginning is over with and the dreadful goodbye is too far off in the distance to fathom. Everything in between is perfection. Other great examples are sandwiches, burritos, pages in a book, a hug, a vacation, my ears, a woman’s legs…hmm, pussy, yes, that is the perfect in between, isn’t it? I dare you to say NO! There is something about a vee jay that is sooo much more attractive than a cock. Now I am not arguing that a penis isn’t functional and a pleasure palace all in its own right, but a pussy is beautiful to look at, touch, smell (hopefully), taste (hopefully) and fuck (um, hopefully *wink*)…alright this just isn’t working for me as I keep getting distracted…so I am going to leave you all with one final thought….nope,  guess I ‘m not cause I think that you may already have enough to think about.

Smoocha

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Winter Time

January 25, 2010 at 9:01 pm (Love, Lust, Mistakes)

You asked… I said no…You begged…You got it!

Smoocha

“FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!” as she flipped him the bird and slammed the door. “Bitch”, he muttered under his breath as he looked around at the mess. She had thrown their collection of eccentric bobbles, bats and ballista’s at his head, pummelled plants at his nether regions, snapped a fair share of his disks and even threatened to bathe his 1977 Les Paul in their salt water tank – of which he only managed to reacquire back into his possession by the shear ‘fight or flight’ reaction of beaming a half eaten bowl of left over chilli from dinner at her…*oohhh shhittt* he thought, as it sloshed its way up her chin with such velocity that he could tell, even before it met its impending target, that he had made a monumental mistake *Christ, I’m gonna be castrated*….

”Fuck it”, he said after surveying the damage and went for the Scotch….

….he awoke awfully cold, *damn*, he thought…*every window open in the house*… He was paralyzed, “God damn Scotch, fucks me up every time”. It was then through the ‘blinding’ pain in his head that he realized he was spread eagle on the bed, face up and completely naked…wrists and ankles tied to the bed posts. “What the fuck”…he couldn’t see either…*what the hell has she done!?!?* The whir of fans around him told him that he was the object of their affection. The whir got louder and so did the clicking sound of someone’s footsteps circling him. “Who the fuck is there”, he screamed, “and what the fuck are you doing”…”is that you Lilith?”…”Christ, what the hell are you doing…”

He could smell her, the pungent combination of Versace and chilli stung his nostrils…he could sense the closeness of her energy. Very close to his ear and whispering she said, “Trust me my pet?” He flipped his head in the direction of her voice. Nothing. “What the hell are you doing Lilith, I’m fuckin cold, come on babe…just untie me and let’s talk about this…you’re fuckin freaking me out”.

Nothing. Several minutes passed. He could feel her empowered gaze upon him and he was beginning to worry…Suddenly, in a slow assured voice, “Do you trust me my pet?”

“Okay, yes, I trust you….” then he felt it…his cock was being sucked up by a vacuum…his shrivelled, cold cock was now entirely in her mouth and she was massaging, sucking and gulping it with such enthusiasm that he couldn’t control his organ and it started to transform in to his full length…”fuuuuckk” he moaned…the inability to move combined with the ‘heat’ of her mouth gulping his cock and his extremities reaching ‘blue’ temperature created a dichotomy of pleasure and discomfort.  Suddenly she spit it out of her mouth. Fully engorged now, his cock stood erect in the middle of the bed…there might well have been a white flag tied around its pulsing head.

She removed the blindfold from his eyes…he still couldn’t see for a blinding light was strategically placed over his head and shining straight into his face. Every time he turned his head toward her she would move out of vision’s way…”Come on Lilith, at least turn the fans down, I’m freezing”…she turned the fans up full blast. “Fuck!”, he screeched…suddenly, searing cold was encircling his balls and he could feel the weight of his member start to diminish. She was licking his balls with an ice cube and started to laugh knowingly as his erection fully depleted. She moved the light out of the way so he could fully appreciate and gaze upon her beauty. She was dressed in a full black neoprene body suit and black full length gloves; she had her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. All that was exposed were her erect nipples, bare shoulders, and through the pussy slit in her suit, her shaved lips. He gawked at her…he had never seen her in ‘this light’ before. She slid over his face and demanded he stick out his tongue…”what the…”, he said and she grabbed his hair and pulled his head back…”DO YOU TRUST ME?” she said. He was speechless and discombobulated by ‘this power’ he wasn’t sure he even knew.  “yes”, he said…”yes, i trust you” he replied in a capitulating tone. “Good, stick out your tongue my pet”. *okay…just go along with it…she’ll let me go eventually if I listen to her*, he thought. “And don’t think I will release you anytime soon…”, she purred. He stuck out his tongue, she grabbed his ears and smothered her smooth, wet pussy on his mouth. He started to do what came naturally and began to flick his tongue at her clit when all of a sudden she yanked his hair back and bared her teeth down at his face, “Did I fuckin tell you to do that!?”. “no”, he said. She reached behind her and started to fuck his soft pudding with her hand. His cock became instantly awake and stood at its massive 10 inches. She laughed and danced her pussy around his mouth…this time he held his tongue out flat and didn’t move. She reached back and squeezed his balls…harder…harder…harder…he started to gasp at the painful pleasure he was experiencing. “Submit to me your guitar and I will let you go”. “No fucking way!!” as he squirmed on the jail bed. She didn’t let go. Writhing, he started to pant…painful pleasure overtook him and he began to succumb to a grateful faraway place. She let go, left him for an eternity and he suffered.

She was there. “Lilith, please, I will do anything…” She mounted his face again. “Stick out your tongue flat and tilt your head back”…”Are you thirsty my pet?” “mhm” he moaned unexpectedly. As her hand slid down to rub her clit she felt the pressure rising. “Suck when I tell you to AND no spilling”, her words brought an intensity near unbearable as his staff rose once again. She felt ‘it’ cumming closer… “Do you relinquish your guitar to me pet?” ….silence…once again she smacked her hand on his balls and squeezed while the other hand flicked his nipple. The delicious pain was unbearable for him and he began to relinquish himself to her…”yes yes, he shuddered…we are yours”. Just as his breath became laboured she released her hold on him and he looked up at her with new subservience. Once again she claimed him “Open wide pet”.

“Jacob, what the fuck, wake up man…you’ve been robbed, where the hell is Lilith and why the fuck are you sprawled naked on your bed?…Shit, it’s cold in here, all the windows are open! Why the hell are all the fans on?…..It’s creepy man!…the only thing left is your guitar and some broken shit…”

Rubbing his newly shaved head as he tenderly clutched his aching manhood, he responded…”fucking Scotch gets me every time.”

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Time for a Screwdriver

January 22, 2010 at 11:16 pm (Lust)

Oh fuck! He loved this wild one…she was the horniest bitch he ever had the pleasure to fuck. Ya, she’d play coy and all ladylike when there were people around but the minute they were alone she would expect him to smash her into him and force her into submission…and she never complained! This one time, she lured him into the closet in the back of the store. There she stood sucking on her pinky while her other hand was already stuffed down her skirt, under her panties and twirling her kitty. She was slightly leaning back against the wall with her legs spread enough that she had to point her toes slightly inward to maintain the posture. She looked adorable in those tall boots and plaid miniskirt, but he would never tell her that, nope, all she wanted to hear was how bad a girl she was. He sauntered up to her and looked down into those doe brown eyes, swung a firm hand on the back of her neck while his other hand attacked her bottom with a vengeance, SLAP! She squeaked expecting him to go straight for the pussy. He muffled her noise with a deep kiss, forcing her mouth to his so not to reject his hungry tongue. Another SLAP…he could feel her constrained screech under his mouth. He forced both his well muscled legs between hers and took her balance completely away. He reached around under her skirt and pulled her hand out of her panties. He let go of her mouth and scolded her for touching herself like that…”bitch, playing like that and not inviting me…”…he stuffed two of his fat, calloused fingers up her tight snatch and began to flick them around inside her making her groan and jiggle up and down, fucking his hand. She was creamy and ready for him…

He had her on the floor with her panties around her knees and with a perfect view of that crescent ass he grabbed a handful of her hair and entered with one pounding thrust. She bellowed out a scream…fuck me harder you asshole! HARDER!! He was taming this wild bitch and smacked her ass perfectly on the same red hand print that lay there from before. She squirmed and bore her hips back on him making it harder for him to maintain the same greedy momentum. His balls were slapping against her clit and she was ready, OH YA…SHE WAS READY…He could feel her tighten around him and her warm, slippery juice was licking his fuck ‘n suck stick making his glide even slicker. Grrrrr, she growled and flung her head back urging his sweet nectar closer and closer to the mark. With one last thankful thrust he shuddered into her but before he could finish she slipped out of his grasp to her feet. “Fucking bitch, why ‘d you do that!” She looked at him with a sweet smile while pulling up her panties and straightening her skirt…”You only get one slap, anymore than that costs you critical time…consider yourself screwed baby!

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A Minute More to Cum

January 22, 2010 at 10:26 pm (Lust)

She was a vision, only in dreams had he ever feasted his eyes on such magnificence. She swung her head back and a wisp of hair fell across her brow and landed on her jaw bouncing off to take flight back to the same resting place. A light breeze kissed his face. Her neck was bare and elegant showcasing her vulnerability…if he could only step closer… he saw himself sliding his strong hand gently along that milky, white sleeve…his hand quivered.

 Her breasts heaved under her sweater as she tried to untangle the small, perfect hairs at the back of her neck from its clasp. She was facing him with her head turned toward the mirror and he had a perfect body shot. Finally, she carelessly slipped it off, inside out, and discarded it to the corner of the room to live with the others used before it. *She wouldn’t do that to me* he thought…*no, she wouldn’t do that to me*… She was facing away from him now and all he could see was the gentle swaying swell of her lush and full breasts baring themselves to him and daring him to reach for them. Perspiration started to gather on his face and he resisted the urge to wipe it away lest break this enchanted view. His cock was raging hard and under the strain he could feel his balls let some cum into his shorts. The curve of her back was luscious and he could see himself gliding his tongue down its length to the pretty little dimples in her hips…he began to slide her panties down with his teeth…”Oh Fuck Vic…Jesus Christ, will you keep on task here! Look at your damn pants, oh fuck! If they catch you looking at that blog again they are gonna fire your horny ass outta here. Why don’t you just fucking email her if you want her that bad, huh?”

Don’t forget to send a pic…Smoocha

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The End

January 19, 2010 at 9:47 pm (Love)

Inspired by Pearl Jam’s ‘Just Breathe’

Aaaaahhh! She felt herself falling deeper and deeper into the abyss…the room was barren and everything was shadows of grey and black. The windows were open and the blinds were scratching their nails down the window pane with the wretched callousness of a witches cackle …just breathe. The chair was cold and hard and should have been in a kitchen where only the lowers ate…not meant to hold her thoughtful frame …nothing you would take…. the wind whipped her loosened curls from their home and spewed them around her face sometimes blinding her vacant eyes …hold me till I die… her gasps matched beat for beat the drumming of the ache in her heart …stay with me…you’re all I see… I can’t have you and every fool knows. She tore her chemise off and threw it to the lions …nothing you would take …slipping and falling she pulled her torn, naked body back to the hard surface ready for another beating …face…what face … You said you were lucky …lucky man… You can’t see me, you can’t need me, her stomach wretched and she vomited… you can’t want me you fool …he never came…  DAMN YOU, take…you took everything…she threw her arms to the wind to summon all her grief and… give her ….everything he took…die, never…on the other side… hurt…bleed…he won’t… he wouldn’t….

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Time to Run

January 18, 2010 at 12:25 am (Mistakes)

For my good friend jam (aka Nympho, sorry ’bout that…Nymphae)

“She was there…GOOD!”, he thought as he methodically made his way through the stacks. He often wondered how this woman could sit for hours without any consideration for his lustful eyes watching her…every day. He could barely contain himself; his cock would literally start swelling before he even entered the building. He knew that if she only looked at him, just once, she would see what he was AND know what she wanted. Today she was donning a snug black skirt, pale stockings and a ‘tuxedo blouse’ sternly clasped to the top button….mmmmm, he thought, if he could only pry those pressed legs apart and stick his stiff, enormous club in her. He HAD to lessen the weight he had been carrying around in his balls this last week while on shore leave. Nope, it wasn’t enough to pay for a fuck for he knew that his true desire could only be appeased by a woman that had never been satisfied by any one man before; a woman that didn’t know irony if it jumped up and bit her on the ass; a woman that had only had her nymphae stretched to maximum capacity by fruit and vegetables.

Suddenly she looked up! Shit, he was within eye shot of his prize. He rose to his full, brawny height of 5’2” and sauntered over to her desk. She was scanning the room looking for naughty patrons jostling papers and chirping too loudly. She managed to prick her eyes on a young woman carelessly ‘cracking’ the spine of a book and began to rise. It was then that she smelt the most fragrant odour she had ever had the privilege to savour. Their eyes met with an apocalyptic force that brought shivers down my spine. She reached out and clasped tightly his sticky hand and led him to an empty ‘quiet’ room that wasn’t occupied. Once inside she opened the blinds fully, he had captivated her in a way that no man had before…a man of the sea! His hands were all over her; they felt so cool and with a lusty heart he ripped off her Victorian demeanour (and attire) and began to tease and bite her rosy nipples. She groaned, OH, she moaned and bucked up against his chest. She had to have his tongue dance on her pussy! She just had to!! With a sharp mind and even sharper tongue he devoured her cunt until it frothed with her welcome juices. “NOW!”, she said, “FUCK ME NOW”…”stick your fuck wand in me and make me growl and scream…now you fucking, gorgeous smelling piece of ass…NOW!!”

Well, with her ensuing insanity it was impossible for him to rise to the occasion and his bulking piece of throbbing meat began to droop lifelessly on her mound. Embarrassed as all hell he stepped back and began to gather her belongings and hand them to her. Furious, her once lustful fuck talk metamorphosed into bitter spew.  She threw her apparel back at him and something hit him square between the eyes. It was her name tag…he looked up at her. Blocking out her ear shattering shrieks all he could do was witness her wet, gaping hole opening and closing, eyes rolling in the back of her head and arms flailing fantastically in the air bringing another shiver down my spine.

He tucked his soft and gushy manhood back into his pants, did up his zipper and with an curt turn and short bow raised his sailor’s cap to her and muttered, “It was a pleasure meeting you Xanthippe”…then ran, ran like hell to the only woman that could ever completely satisfy him and capture his heart…the sea.

Epilogue: I can’t take all the credit for this story as ‘jam’ was instrumental in providing me with the ‘neccessary’ tools to express her pain. The threads to the comments of the story I wrote ‘Ten Minutes’ will further explain this poor woman’s anguish. It has been wrote and therefore IT IS. Cheers my little bug.

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Time for a Love Story

January 16, 2010 at 7:57 pm (Love)

Not my work! This is an amazing love story written from the heart. You know who you are if you view this…although I did not ask to blog it I am hoping that you will continue to let me post it for it will give many inspiration that ‘real love’ exists, can be expressed and lived,  as eloquently as you have spoken. If you want me to lay to rest your beautiful words I shall…no questions asked!

“From a soldier,with love :

I love your body smell chemistry combined with the perfect parafume.
I love the sence of security you feel from known that I’m here for you.
I love to tuck you in bed at night and how safe and secure you look with my arms around you.
I love waking up next to you in the morning.
I love being appreciated in the morning,missed in the afternoon,and rushed home to in the evening.
I love that innocent,childish smile i see on your face everytime i come home with flowers in my hand.
I love how your smile lights up my heart,and my entire world.
I love to turn this world upside down just to put smile on your face.
I love looking deep into your eyes while making love to you.
I love the sparks in your eyes.
I love how my ears smiles and my heart sing hearing you talk.
I love how tall you walk with me by your side.
I love how calm,satisfied,and complete i feel with you by my side.
I love how weak yet powerfull i feel everytime you tell me you love me.
I love how proud I’m being your MAN.
I love to hold your hand.
I love that look on other guy’s faces and how jealous they get seeing you holding my hand.
I love to grow old with you.
I love being your hero.
I love being your soldier.
I love you being my angel.
I love kissing you on your forehead while our friend are watching.
I love calling my wife,even if we’re not married yet.
I love calling you everyday,several times a day,especially at night.
I love calling you in the middle of the day,for no reason ,just to tell you I miss you.
I love to travel with you.
I love to put my life on line for you to live.
I love to put love notes in your lunch bags.
I love how it feels to expose my heart and surrender to you.
I love how your trust turns me on.
I love not even distance can keep us apart.
I hate to make you mad,eventhough you look very cute when you are.
I love you way beyond love,way beyond life,and way beyond death do us apart.
Every bit of my heart,my soul,and my body loves you,simply because you are love
capable of loving,and deserving of all the love I have to give.
It’s like a sea of love,NEVER ENDS..and because of this love,I have wrote your name on my birth,on my death,on my voice,on my lips,on my smile,on my tears,in my eyes,on my thoughts,on my hopes,on my soul,on my days,on my nights,on my reflection,on my shadow,on my past,on my current,on my future,on the sun,on the moon,on the stars,on the beach,on every leaf,on every falling snow flake,on every falling rain drop,on every rock,on the blue sky,on my red & white cells,in my heart,on my entire life from birth to death.
Life without love is like a rose with no scent or colour,like a bird with no wings,like a home with no roof.
It’s not the same without that aching,them feelings,and that beautiful pain call love.
And out there in this miserable world…love really is real…and when you have it…its worth more than anything..sometimes even more than life it self.”

NO REAL MAN’S LIST NEEDED

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Time To Begin

January 16, 2010 at 7:34 pm (Lust)

Rebirth – Dedicated to a very special person

I slid around him and danced my desires over his body…when I looked into his eyes we recognized that we had known each other for eons…worlds ago. I drew closer and could smell him now…his body, breath, essence. I reached up and drew him to my parted lips. He obliged my wanted need to taste his heaven. My tongue danced with his and I licked his lips drawing to a close over his bottom pout and nibbled. His shoulders relaxed and his arms fell to his sides. My boot kicked apart his legs and I straddled his thigh. Arching my body against his length I grazed his chest with my nipples and our attire dissolved into the shadows. My nails followed the lines of his torso, trailing lower to his pubic line. He gasped. I whispered to him, “You are mine”…I placed sweet kisses there on his lobe and buried my mouth into the crook of his neck biting his exquisite flesh. I held him with a well placed hand on his lower back and slid my cleft along his thigh….smooth and silky we were together. His cock responded immediately with a jolt of obedient thoughtfulness. I pulled away from him and admired my amoral gift.

“Come to me”…I guided him to my breast and he suckled, flicking and turning my nipple along his tongue. “Squeeze my tits and make my nipples scream”…our bodies slammed together and I ground into him. We became a tapestry of pleasure induced momentum, I pulled him up to my mouth and wrapped my legs around his thighs pinning his cock to my clit. I arched my back and slid my pussy up the length of his shaft. I drove my nails into his ass directing his heated meat into my hot, pulsating slit. I bucked up against his cock and a deep, primal growl beckoned its way from deep within my desire to flow from my lips. Finally…he filled me, he ground into me and fucked me with long, deep, hard strokes….over and over he gave me my power. His manhood stung me with a slap for each deserving, powerful stroke. I pulled his hands into mine over my head and our interlaced fingers clenched in anticipation of our love. We rode the waves again and again….he buried his face in my hair and I turned into his cheek. Our eyes locked. He gave his seed to me and I surrendered to my precious lust for him. Without words he spoke…I am yours my Queen.

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Business Time

January 14, 2010 at 11:46 pm (Lust)

Tweet and OOMPH’s Song         

“Alright! Shut the fuck up already”…”can’t you two go over to his place and have wild, crazy, monkey sex there for a change…damn, I gotta get SOME work done!!”

Endless days of lovemaking are OH, so glorious, unless you’re not the one participating in the ‘making’ part. It began when Tweet moved into my basement suite about a month ago. Before then I could count on a tremendous amount of professional productivity from myself as a self employed ‘gun for hire’…now I want to take my gun and shoot myself!

Before I go any further I need to explain the physical attributes of Tweet and her lover, OOMPH, so you can fully appreciate the colourful picture I am about to paint for you. ‘Tweet’ is about the size of a Canary, she has strawberry blonde hair and can muster a pitch that would make Mariah Carey cry…hence the name Tweet. OOMPH, on the other hand, is the size of The Friendly Giant with a ‘pirate’ demeanour…6’5”, bald, handsome, swarthy, earrings, etc….and unlike Tweet, can only hit the low notes, you know…a Hans Hotter style bass-baritone range. When I look at them I am completely perplexed how this could possibly work…like fitting a Champagne cork back into the bottle…hmmm…nope, none of my business.

So take for example the other day…I was diligently working on a piece of work with a time stamp on it for the following day which included mind numbing, statistical number crunching analysis. Time 9:17am they start their song. My eyes roll in the back of my head and I pour myself another cup of strong, black coffee…”this is going to be a long fucking day!” Time 10:39am I get up and frantically start tearing apart the house looking for the damn ear plugs. “Christ Almighty, I’m never gonna fuckin finish today…those Jack Rabbits are going to have me working into the night”…number of probabilities calculated – 1; cups of coffee – 4; number of swears including the word ‘plug’ in them – 50ish. Time 1:44pm then it gets good….I surmise that they decide to don battle armour and, with full operatic aria in the background, engage in a good old fashioned duel of the sexes… number of probabilities calculated – 1; cups of coffee – 0; shots of vodka – 2; number of swears without spittle – none. Time 3:50pm the ‘singing duel’ somewhat dissipates downstairs…I am thinking purely because they are so bloody and battered that there no longer is any point…leads me to wonder who won the battle, but still am, and getting, pissed…number of probabilities calculated – 1; shots of vodka  tequila – 4; number of orgasms – lost track after 12.

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